Call us: (07) 5530 2860
Select Page

Humour: When You’re Over 65

  • Kidnappers are no longer interested in you.
  • In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
  • No one expects you to run into a burning building.
  • People phone at 7 PM and ask, “Did I wake you?”
  • People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
  • There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.
  • Things you buy now won’t wear out.
  • You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
  • You enjoy hearing about other people’s surgeries.
  • You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
  • You have a party, and the neighbours don’t even realize it.
  • You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
  • You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
  • You sing along with the elevator music.
  • Your eyes won’t get much worse.
  • Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
  • Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the Weather Service.
  • Your secrets are safe with your friends, because they can’t remember them either.
  • Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
  • Life insurance agents no longer phone you.

Optimal health and longevity? Get Ann Wigmore’s RECIPES FOR LONGER LIFE.