Humour: When You’re Over 65
- Kidnappers are no longer interested in you.
- In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
- No one expects you to run into a burning building.
- People phone at 7 PM and ask, “Did I wake you?”
- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
- There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.
- Things you buy now won’t wear out.
- You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
- You enjoy hearing about other people’s surgeries.
- You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
- You have a party, and the neighbours don’t even realize it.
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
- You sing along with the elevator music.
- Your eyes won’t get much worse.
- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the Weather Service.
- Your secrets are safe with your friends, because they can’t remember them either.
- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
- Life insurance agents no longer phone you.
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